Thursday, July 22, 2010

Tryin to look cute at the gym

Ok, so my birthday rolls around and I decide hey, this extra ten pounds I have gained has to go! Sorry ten pounds you would have been good to stay if you had landed at the right spots like the behind or the boobs, I may have been happy.
But NOOOO you decide to take up residency in my arms and lower stomach.. Sorry but I have to give you an eviction notice! You got three months to get out!
Sorry I digress, for the past three weeks I have been going to my companies gym.  I wore the biggest t-shirts I could find, thank you ex- boyfriends you were good for something! And a pair of jogging pants! Hey, I was ready to seriously work this weight off!
Problem is at my companies gym, the weights face the elliptical machines and the elliptical machines  face the mirrors. Now I love the elliptical machine, it works every part of your body, arms, butt, legs and stomach.  At my old job, you had to take a number to use it, no seriously, take a number as the four they had was always in use.
Well, I could barely contain my excitement, when I saw that all three were free to use at my new jobs gym.
No waiting in line here, Yippee!
I jumped on, starting striding to start the quick start, when I look up into about six pair of eyes, all following my movements. Oh...ok... now I know why these suckers were free!
But I'm not going to let you knock my hustle, I got three months, no excuses!
So every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday I deal with being the entertainment. Yep, I know I could go to another gym or work on one of the treadmills that are across the room. Nope, the elliptical is my friend and I won't leave it. Even it means I'm sweating like a pig and my breathing sounds like moose in heat, in front of may I say some attractive guys. Even though I must admit, I do pray they don't recognise me on the street and say "Hey aren't you that girl I see at the gym, you know the one sounds like she's having a heart attack, you may want to get that looked at."
Well at least not until I can fit back into my size nine again. Then they can recognise me all they want.
I told a co worker at work about the gym and how the elliptical machines are stationed. Intrigued she asked "Right in front of all the guys?"
"Yep. You have to be a brave cookie to workout in front of guys." Sorry but it's true, no woman wants to look like a limp rag in front of men. Well at least not this woman...but I'm on a mission dang it!
"When are you going again?"
"Thursday." I replied. I didn't ask her if she wanted to go. I didn't see a reason to, she doesn't look as though she needs to lose any weight and from a previous conversation we had I learned that she runs everyday.
But sure enough that next Thursday, there she was! In her yoga pants, low cut halter top looking like she just stepped off the cover of training day magazine. And there I was in my three times as big t-shirt and jogging pants that covered every part of my body.
We make our way over to the elliptical, when she says low under her breath, "There are some  cuties in here."
I just shook my head at her. Hey, I have conserve my breath, I have work to do here. As we exercise I see a guy in the back... well a couple of guys in the back watching her every move.
She leans over "That cute blond guy in the back just winked at me."
I just smile and nod, (still conserving breath here.)
Well I'm not going to say I wasn't slightly relieved. At least all eyes were not on me that day.
Until, forty minutes into the workout , she steps off the elliptical but the fabric on her left pants leg  must have gotten snagged in one of the foot peddles and she falls flat on her face. Barely missing the base of my machine.
I jump off and bend down to make sure she was alright as most of the rest of the gyms patrons rush over including the cute guy whom she had been flirting with. We see that the bottom of her yoga pants had in some way tangled itself in one of the crevices of the paddle. And when she fell, her pants pulled down embarrassingly showing her left butt cheek. I won't say we were mooned but we were sunned. See she has a tattoo of the sun on her left butt cheek.
The blond guy whom she had been flirting with leans over heroically to loosen the pants leg from the machine. I lean over her to cover her up as it seemed the more he pulled the more skin appeared!
I can say I have never seen a persons whole body turn a deep red until that day.  She was so mortified!  Finally he was able to rip it free and we helped her up and into the locker room where she quickly changed without much as a word to me before she left, her skin still the color of a tomato.
Now I have to admit, I had admired her outfit, I thought it was cute. I even thought hey a few more weeks of working out, I should be able to fit in some yoga pants and top just like hers.
After seeing her embarrassment. I decided that my workout gear is just fine, no need to go trying to look cute at the gym.

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